


the idiot-proof guide to matchmaking

by serpentineshadows



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kuroo is not paid enough to deal with Bokuto pining after Akaashi, M/M, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Third Year Akaashi Keiji, University Student Kuroo Tetsurou, somewhat outsider pov, the slightest tiniest mention of kenhina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serpentineshadows/pseuds/serpentineshadows
Summary: “He already called today,” Bokuto whispers, eyes wild and almost certainly hysterical.“Pickup,” Kuroo says, about to reach over to accept the call himself before it drops.Kuroo hits speakerphone when Bokuto accepts the call, which is why he hears the iciness in Akaashi’s voice when he says, “Hello.”To everyone's detriment, Kuroo is overly involved in Bokuto and Akaashi getting together.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 116





	the idiot-proof guide to matchmaking

**Author's Note:**

> i was struck by this idea right around the time of bokuaka week w/o knowing it was a thing, but my muse decided to miss all of the tropes/prompts and landed on the Totally Unique trope of fake dating lol
> 
> this is really self-indulgent, seeing as... in my prev fic, i missed out on including the brokuroo shenanigans + fukunaga cameo i wanted...and this fic..has both.
> 
> also this is set during timeskip, but there aren't really manga spoilers other than the fact that...bokuto is a pro volleyball player
> 
> (rated t for a single swear word)
> 
> (you have not seen this before, i did not make a mistake while posting, nope)

“Isn’t Fukurodani doing so well?”

Kuroo’s screen is on his chemistry homework, not his video call with Bokuto, but he can picture Bokuto’s unique mixture of smugness and infatuation without even looking up from his paper. Seeing the same love-struck expression, hearing the same pining spiel for the tenth time this _week_ , despite it being only Wednesday, will do that to a man. Kuroo doesn’t even acknowledge Bokuto (he’s learned that it doesn’t really matter what he says during these speeches, as long as it’s not Akaashi-related; Bokuto didn’t bat an eye when Kuroo said, “I’ve decided to elope with Yakkun to Russia,” but a single mention of Akaashi, and Bokuto perked up). Like a man possessed, Bokuto soldiers on anyway:

“Akaashi’s doing great as captain.”

“Uh huh.” Kuroo would have engaged Bokuto in an argument over whose old team is doing better, but repeating the same conversation over and over again is not as entertaining without an exasperated audience and Bokuto is too stubborn—Kuroo’s homework will not do itself during the time he wastes bashing his head against Bokuto’s iron will.

“I bet everyone loves him.”

Kuroo’s pencil lead breaks, and he erases furiously at the dark smudge it’s left on his paper. 

A theatrical, staticky sigh. Heavy, like he’s bearing the weight of the world. “I miss Akaashi.”

It hasn’t even been half a year since they graduated, and Kuroo swears he’s heard that at least a million times. “I know,” “Tell him that yourself,” “I’m sure he misses you too”—none of these are the right answer, or at least an answer that will make Bokuto stop pining and _do_ something.

Kuroo pushes his homework aside, switches over to Bokuto’s pitiful, lovesick face, resists the urge to futilely shake his computer screen, and says (completely calmly, no matter what Bokuto otherwise claims), “ _Confess._ ”

Bokuto’s pout is something else. “It’s not the right time!”

“Graduation would’ve been the perfect time,” Kuroo laments, thinking of all the times in the past couple months he could’ve finished his homework, free of Bokuto’s verbal love letters to Akaashi: his perfect tosses, his perfect face, his perfect temperament, and so on. They spend much less time together, now that they’ve got new, busier schedules and Bokuto’s gone off to Osaka, so Kuroo calls Bokuto while he’s _doing his homework_. And yet, Bokuto has the audacity to spend what feels like 90% of their calls pining over Akaashi without any intention of confessing any time soon?

The lines of Bokuto’s pout harden into something more severe. “No,” he says, voice soft enough that Kuroo almost doesn’t catch it. “Don’t even know if Akaashi likes me.”

“Bro…” Kuroo is floored. “Akaashi _does_ like you, dude.”

“I know he does!” Bokuto’s frown is still just as intense. “Just not the way I want him to.”

Not for the first time, Kuroo wishes he could reach through his computer screen and grab the collar of Bokuto’s shirt to shake him, just a little. “No, I meant, he does like you, like _that._ ”

“No, ‘cause I’m not—not an ordinary ace yet,” Bokuto says, head lowered, and Kuroo’s heart sinks. God, Bokuto’s shoulders are trembling, and there are so many things for Kuroo to unpack.

“First of all, stop fishing for compliments! It’s not gonna work on me, you know you’re doing great, bro. This upcoming season is gonna be all yours. Second of all! Akaashi is 110% head over heels for you.” Bokuto lifts his head, just barely, but Kuroo can see that his eyebrows are raised sky-high in disbelief. “Madly in love. Besotted. All the synonyms. Thirdly! Hm, I don’t have a third point, but I will reemphasize my prior two points. Specifically, Akaashi _like-likes_ you.”

Bokuto narrows his eyes. “How do you know that?” _It’s obvious_ is not going to cut it as an answer, but Bokuto doesn’t even let Kuroo think before he says, “You’re not a romance expert. You haven’t even dated before,” and those are fighting words.

“Have too!” Kuroo insists, and they devolve into a pointless argument for a solid twenty minutes, in which Bokuto refuses to believe that Kuroo was popular among girls at Nekoma despite clear evidence to the contrary in the same stubborn way he refuses to believe that—

“Akaashi is totally crushing on you, man!”

Bokuto doesn’t even bother saying anything, but his entire posture, tense and rigid, screams _No, I don’t believe you._

Kuroo is not quite the Bokuto Whisperer that Akaashi is, but he _is_ Desperate, which is why he blurts out, “I’ll prove to you that Akaashi likes you.” Despite his stubborn refusal to listen to reason, Bokuto is paying rapt attention. “Date me.” He can already see Bokuto beginning to reject him, as if Kuroo would ever willingly confess with such terrible, terrible odds, so he quickly clarifies. “ _Fake_ date me.”

“How would that prove Akaashi likes me?” Bokuto asks, which means Kuroo’s already hooked him.

“He’ll be jealous that we’re ‘together.’ Only makes sense for him to be jealous if he likes you, right?”

“Right…” It’s an “absolutely ridiculously stupid plan,” as Kenma will later remark, but that’s par for the course for Bokuto and Kuroo. Hence, Bokuto’s final response: “Okay, let’s do it!”

* * *

Despite the fact that their minds are made up, it takes way too long for them to kick the plan into motion. ( _Months,_ Kuroo wants to complain to Kenma, but this plan is Top Secret, so he has no one to whine to but himself. _Months of more pining about Akaashi_. But, “I wanna meet up in person to announce it!” Bokuto insists, even though their schedules do not align, whenever Kuroo brings up the fact that they need to actually fake a relationship for Akaashi to get jealous over, and Kuroo is starting to see why that graduation confession never happened.)

Finally, however, the day has come. It’s Bokuto’s birthday, and Kuroo has his obligations all planned out. He’s skipping volleyball practice for the day in exchange for heavier duties all of next week, but otherwise, everything fits perfectly. Kuroo rushes home to grab his overnight bags after his last class and catches a train to Osaka right before it’s about to leave the station. The ride isn’t too long, especially since Kuroo spends it finishing up his homework due Monday and intermittently bothering Kenma and Yaku. And when Kuroo exits the station, he’s greeted by Bokuto, who’s noticeable even though it’s dark out, the moonlight weak. Bokuto picks him up—bags and all—and swings him around like he weighs nothing.

“How was the trip?” Bokuto asks, once he sets Kuroo down.

“Alright. Happy birthday, dude!”

“Haha, thanks, man!”

Then, silence as they start to walk to Bokuto’s apartment.

For the first time since they met in high school, their conversation is stilted, awkward, the tension of _we’re fake dating_ hanging over them. Kuroo runs a hand through his hair, the other busy fiddling with the strap of his bag. This is supposed to improve Bokuto and Akaashi’s relationship, not ruin their friendship. 

Luckily, Bokuto starts talking before Kuroo can blurt out something random, like “hey, did you know starfish don’t have brains?” 

“Sooo, where do you wanna go to take cute couple-y photos? It’s gotta be convincing, right?”

Kuroo frowns. “Can’t we just do it in your apartment? It’s too dark to get any good ones outside.”

Thankfully, Bokuto does not end up vehemently arguing against Kuroo because taking nice romantic pictures together is much, much harder than they anticipated.

“It looks fake.” Bokuto glares at his phone, but that doesn’t change what it shows him: Bokuto, turned toward Kuroo, lips puckered, hovering over Kuroo’s cheek, and face scrunched in a grimace.

“It looks _forced._ You look like you’d rather be doing anything else!”

Bokuto shoves his phone into Kuroo’s hand. “Fine. You try it!”

Kuroo holds the phone at an angle so that it looks like he’s kissing Bokuto’s cheek when he’s really not. He snaps the photo, and Bokuto snatches his phone back, eager to examine the results. 

“You couldn’t do it either,” Bokuto gloats.

Kuroo leans over to look at the photo, and: Kuroo’s eyes are closed, his face relaxed as his lips look like they brush over Bokuto’s cheekbone, which means it _would_ look convincing if Bokuto wasn’t side-eyeing Kuroo.

“Dude! That was totally on you.”

“Don’t be a sore loser.”

“Hey! If I lost, then you did, too.”

“But I’m not a _sore_ loser,” Bokuto says, like he’s dispensing a kernel of wisdom.

“…let’s just try again.”

In the end, it takes them an embarrassingly long time to get a decent picture that isn’t too forced, or too plain, or too exaggerated. It’s a simple one, straightforward, and Bokuto drives the point home by captioning it “FIRST DATE!! ✨ BEST BDAY PRESENT!”

It doesn’t take long for them to get a response. Specifically, via a text from Kenma.

_don’t tell me you and bokuto are actually dating_

Hahaaaa, is that so hard to believe?

_if you liked bokuto that way, I would know_

Oho, so you’re that perceptive huh :3

_no._

_you would have told me_

It’s rather discouraging, and the comments from Bokuto’s former teammates are only slightly better. Outwardly, they all seem supportive and friendly, voicing their congratulations, but they’re blowing up Bokuto’s phone with messages to their group chat. Konoha’s “really?? Kuroo??” hurts, it really does, but Komi’s the one who’s daring enough to ask what they’re apparently all thinking: “what about Akaashi?”

(Bokuto’s “WHAT ABOUT AKAASHI” is not convincing enough.)

Akaashi, for his part, likes Bokuto’s photo and leaves a nice, polite comment. Bokuto, when he sees it, is distraught. He is even more distraught when his phone starts buzzing with a call from Akaashi.

“He already called today,” Bokuto whispers, eyes wild and almost certainly hysterical.

“Pick _up,_ ” Kuroo says, about to reach over to accept the call himself before it drops.

Kuroo hits speakerphone when Bokuto accepts the call, which is why he hears the iciness in Akaashi’s voice when he says, “Hello.”

“Akaashi!” Bokuto yells, and wow, he is a phenomenally bad actor. Kuroo can already see their plan crashing before it’s even fully taken off.

“I saw…the news. Congratulations.” Kuroo has never heard Akaashi sound so reluctant in his life, and Akaashi has been involved in a great deal of Bokuto and Kuroo’s shenanigans.

“Thanks!” Bokuto screams into the phone, and Kuroo thanks whatever god exists out there that this is not a video call because Bokuto’s expression would reveal everything.

“I hope you had fun today,” Akaashi says without an ounce of sincerity. Kuroo is familiar with that tone, but not to this degree.

“I did.” Bokuto starts laughing, too forcefully. “Kuroo’s great!”

“I’m glad.” Akaashi’s cold tone could freeze hearts.

“Yup!” 

There’s a silence, unbearably awkward, which is broken only by Akaashi’s swift goodbyes.

Immediately, Bokuto turns to Kuroo, and the look of betrayal on his face is too much. “He hates me!” he cries. “Why does he hate me?”

“He’s just jealous,” but in the face of Bokuto’s sheer sadness, Kuroo’s calm explanation sounds pathetic.

“He didn’t even say ‘Congratulations, _Bokuto-san._ ’” Bokuto looks ready to tear his hair out, so Kuroo wraps Bokuto up into a hug. Bokuto sniffles sadly, and maybe, possibly, blows his nose into Kuroo’s hair, but Kuroo rationalizes that into being okay because Bokuto is rightfully upset.

“Okay, yeah, that did not go according to plan. Do you want to just give up? Confess to Akaashi normally?”

“No!” Bokuto squeezes Kuroo impossibly tight until it feels like his ribs are about to break. “We already agreed to meet Konoha and the others in person anyway. And, and like you said, it might be that Akaashi’s just jealous.”

“Might be? He totally is.”

Bokuto huffs. “Who knows Akaashi better, you or me?”

That’s hard to argue with, but Kuroo _knows_ that he’s right in this case. Bokuto is just too dense to see it.

* * *

For Kuroo’s birthday, Bokuto comes up to Tokyo. It would’ve been totally fine, a repeat of Bokuto’s birthday, where they struggle to take photos that scream “we’re totally in love,” except for the fact that the former Fukurodani members capitalize on Bokuto being in Tokyo to interrogate the two of them. Together. As a couple. (Nevermind that they already hunted Kuroo down to give him a talking to.)

So that’s why Kuroo’s stuffed on the inside of a booth, Bokuto squished next to him, and Washio on the very end to prevent them from escaping, with Akaashi, Komi, Konoha, and Sarukui sitting across from them. Not exactly the ideal way to spend his birthday.

There’s not even the comfort of food to help him ignore all of Fukurodani’s accusing glares.

“So, how’d you two start dating?” Konoha asks, and he’s looking directly at Bokuto, who’s sweating profusely. Not good. Akaashi winces, barely noticeable, but of course Bokuto latches onto that as well.

“A couple months ago, we realized we missed each other…romantically, ” Kuroo answers before Bokuto can say anything ridiculous because they’ve gone over their story, but Kuroo trusts Bokuto to remember all of that about as far as he can throw him right now.

“Interesting…and it’s been good for you guys, long distance?”

Kuroo can tell that Komi just tried to kick Konoha’s leg because he misses horribly and gets Kuroo instead.

“Yep,” Bokuto blurts out. It’s so obvious he’s lying that it’s kind of glorious that Akaashi clearly, whole-heartedly believes Bokuto, if the fact that he looks like a kicked puppy (or at least as much as Akaashi can look like one) is any indication. “Long distance, great, real great, ‘cause my…Kuroo is great.”

The waiter comes by to give them their dishes so thankfully, no one tears Bokuto’s pitiful response to shreds just yet. In fact, when Sarukui casually, very casually observes, “I didn’t think you two would date, but I guess I can see it,” Bokuto shovels mouthfuls of rice inside his mouth.

“Why, thank you. We _do_ work very well together. I love Bokuto with my entire being—” Maybe that’s laying it on too thick. “—and his…upbeat personality, and how he always calls me when I’m doing homework. Just really brightens up my day, you know?”

Bokuto nods enthusiastically and adds on some gibberish because he looks like a chipmunk, his cheeks bursting with food. Only Akaashi understands what he’s trying to say and translates with very little of the patience he usually reserves for Bokuto: “Bokuto-san said, ‘Kuroo always makes me laugh.’”

“And that’s why you’re dating,” Konoha concludes. He points at Kuroo with his chopsticks. “Because Bokuto ‘brightens up’ your day, and—” He switches to Bokuto, who stares down at the chopsticks, cross-eyed. “Kuroo makes you laugh.”

“Yeah, the past few months have really taught me to treasure those dearest to me.” God, it’s so obvious that all the former third years—even kind, steady Washio—think they’re full of shit. Konoha doesn’t even bother to hide his snort of disbelief, but Akaashi is hyperfocused on his plate of sorry vegetables. No choice but to soldier on. “And Bokuto’s really, you know, the light of my life.”

“Uh huh, ditto,” is Bokuto’s wonderful contribution now that he’s swallowed his heaping bowl of rice and plate of meat.

That seems to be the nail in Akaashi’s coffin because he tries to stand, drawing everyone’s attention. Especially Bokuto, who has a third eye that’s always paying attention to Akaashi.

“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” he says, head lowered, and proceeds to step over everyone’s legs to wiggle out of the booth. That counts as running, for Akaashi standards.

“Great!” Konoha claps his hands, his eyes glittering with pure evil. Kuroo recognizes that expression from matches Nekoma lost. “Now that Akaashi’s gone, tell us what’s really going on.”

Bokuto laughs; it’s loud, more obnoxious than usual, and goes on for way too long. “What do you mean, Kuroo and I are totally dating!”

And the conversation goes around in circles like that as Kuroo digs into his fish because he at least trusts Bokuto to valiantly do a horrible job of keeping up the facade in front of all the people who already suspect it’s a facade. 

By the time Akaashi comes back from the bathroom, Bokuto has reached peak volume and his gesturing has grown out of control (he almost smacked Washio in the face and ended up getting Kuroo). Akaashi’s hair is slightly wet and his face slightly red, but no one comments on it. Instead of crawling all the way back to his original seat, he stays on the very edge of the booth and steadily steers the conversation away from Bokuto and Kuroo’s relationship.

All in all, -10/10. Kuroo ranks it just above that one birthday when he and Kenma were still in the awkward stages of getting to know each other and only Kenma attended his birthday party, and definitively below all the birthdays after he bullied Kenma into playing volleyball with him and Kenma was the constant at all of them.

The day after, Kuroo goes over to Kenma’s instead of hanging out with Bokuto because he and Akaashi deserve some quality time together, and Kuroo really, really can’t handle more time with the former Fukurodani team.

Alas, it appears he can’t catch a break because Kenma opens the door, takes a long, judgmental look at him, and says, “I’ve replaced you.”

“No ‘good to see you, Kuroo, I’ve missed you’? Not even a hello?”

Kenma ignores him and goes back inside. Kuroo follows, and ah, Kenma’s greeting makes sense now. Fukunaga’s in the living room, a controller in his hand, and it looks like he’s just about finished beating up Kenma’s defenseless character when they enter. He lifts his head, notices Kuroo, and waves.

“As you can see, Fukunaga’s my new best friend,” Kenma repeats, unnecessarily, as he picks his controller back up, and Fukunaga, the traitor, just grins cheekily.

“Really? What have I done to deserve this?” Kuroo heads into the kitchen and gets himself a drink because honestly, he deserves it.

Kenma starts up a new round and gives Fukunaga’s character a sound thrashing. “You know exactly what you’ve done.” He doesn’t even look up from the screen. It’s honestly impressive how fast Fukunaga loses.

“Enlighten me.” Kuroo plops himself onto the couch and sips at his drink. Fukunaga presses the controller into his hands and disappears into the kitchen.

“You and Bokuto aren’t dating.” Kenma pairs each word with a devastating hit to Kuroo’s character. It’s basically a punching bag, and the controller buzzes uncontrollably. Kenma turns to glare at Kuroo, and wow, that doesn’t even stop his combo. “Akaashi is. Upset.”

“You mean, jealous.”

Kuroo’s character flies off the screen and dies. “Because he _thinks_ you and Bokuto are dating when you’re not.”

“That’s cruel.” Kuroo puts up a token protest as Kenma starts up another round. “Why can’t we be dating?”

“You think you’re a better liar than Bokuto, but you’re really not.” Kenma wins the round, almost instantly. It’s black magic; it has to be. Kuroo is decent at this game, after losing so much over the years.

“ _Kenma._ ”

“Kuro.”

Silence. Fukunaga has still not returned from the kitchen.

“Alright, _fine._ We’re not dating! But it’s not ‘cause we’re trying to hurt Akaashi’s feelings. I’m just trying to prove to Bokuto that Akaashi likes him.”

Kenma is completely still, for just a moment. “Bokuto needs proof that Akaashi likes him?” Then, his eyes piercing and his tone damning as he concludes, “You and Bokuto deserve each other.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

(Kenma does not spill the beans to Akaashi immediately, most likely because he suspects they’ll crash and burn sooner rather than later. Kuroo is loath to admit that Kenma is probably right, especially after he’s sent Bokuto off at the train station with Akaashi, and Bokuto texts Kuroo about all of his uncertainties. Is Akaashi really jealous, or is it that he’s realized Bokuto’s actually not that great now that he’s free of him? _Yes, Akaashi really is jealous,_ Kuroo assures, _and stop putting yourself down. You’re great._

He has a moment of clarity in which he realizes that he’s not getting fewer texts from Bokuto about Akaashi, it’s just the content that’s changed, but he drowns that voice of reason out in classes, and schoolwork, and volleyball. It will only take a matter of time to get Bokuto to come around to the idea that Akaashi _is_ jealous and then they can stage a dramatic breakup so that Bokuto can confess to Akaashi and he can finally be free.)

* * *

As the weeks go by, they put less and less effort into keeping up the facade of their relationship—less very public declarations of love on social media (which are mildly embarrassing when Kuroo lets himself think about it for longer than a minute), less obnoxious in-your-face couple-y photos (which take forever to craft)—especially because none of their friends really believe it, and even _Bokuto_ has realized that.

What Bokuto has still not realized, by the time Christmas has rolled around, is that Akaashi is one of the only people who _does_ believe it (alongside Lev and Inuoka and Onaga, who have way too much faith in their senpai) and he is 110% jealous. The problem is that Akaashi has somewhat gotten a handle on his jealousy, and he’s stopped being cold to Bokuto. (He’s continued to be just as rude to Kuroo, but “he’s just like that with you!” Bokuto insists, blindly.) “See, he’s not jealous,” Bokuto will say, and Kuroo will struggle to not tear his hair out, or do something equally drastic. No amount of “he’s just trying to be happy for you” will convince Bokuto. Kuroo’s grades can’t handle hours of arguing with Bokuto anymore, which is why…

They’re going on a Christmas date. There’s no way that can go horribly sideways, like, for example, with Kenma dragging Akaashi along to crash it.

“This isn’t happening,” Kuroo says, pinching himself, even as Kenma pulls him away from Bokuto and Akaashi. “This is a dream.”

“This is for your own good.”

Kenma continues to drag Kuroo along with a surprising amount of arm strength for someone who insists on moving as little as possible.

\--

Before Bokuto can think too deeply about it, Kuroo and Kenma are gone, and Akaashi is left standing in front of him. He’s painfully pretty, especially under the lights of the Christmas tree, and Bokuto wants so badly it hurts.

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi’s voice is soft and melodic and a very high contender for the best sound Bokuto’s ever heard.

“Akaashi,” he breathes, distracted by the bluish gray of Akaashi’s eyes. He leans in, involuntarily, but Akaashi steps back.

“What’s going on? What about Kuroo-san?”

It’s like a dam breaking, the words spill out from Bokuto’s mouth too fast for him to keep up. “Kuroo and I aren’t actually dating. We were just, I don’t know, I like you. I _like_ you, and I didn’t know if you do, and I still don’t know, but Kuroo and I were fake dating to see if you got jealous—” Bokuto breaks off to finally take a breath. He can see Akaashi, frozen, in shock, probably, and his heart shatters. “I understand if you don’t, don’t like me back, of course. Haha, why would you—”

“Bokuto-san.” Akaashi takes a step closer, and his expression is so unreadable. “I was jealous. I _do_ like you. So will you date _me_ this time? For real?”

“Of course,” Bokuto whispers and crushes Akaashi into a hug because this has to be a dream; Akaashi looks ethereal, the Christmas tree washing the planes of his face in light, and he’s saying he wants to _date_ Bokuto. _Bokuto._ But it’s not a dream because Akaashi is solid under his arms, and his lips are petal-soft when Akaashi pulls him into a kiss, and it feels so natural to lean down and steal another kiss, so much better than faking it for a photo (no offense intended to Kuroo, of course).

* * *

It's been months since Bokuto and Akaashi got together, so Kuroo's plan _was_ successful, if a bit convoluted. And Kuroo gets to observe the happy couple, the fruits of his labor, all on his lonesome because Kenma, the traitor, has opted out of meeting up with them, citing “new game” as the reason. Kuroo really, really should’ve backed out as well, but seeing Bokuto in person _is_ a rarity. Of course, that means Kuroo has voluntarily made himself the third wheel, and since Bokuto has decided to be late, Kuroo is stuck sitting across from Akaashi whose death glare has been especially potent recently.

Being alone with Akaashi has never been so uncomfortable, which is why Kuroo blurts out, “So, Kenma and the shrimpy seem like they’re closer than before.”

It is absolutely the wrong choice in conversation topic.

“They might grow apart once you decide to meddle, Kuroo-san.” 

Akaashi sips at his water. Kuroo shuts up.

At least until Bokuto bursts in. They’re exercising their rights to kiss in front of his dinner, so he at least deserves to comment on it.

**Author's Note:**

> lies I told myself while writing this 
>   * im not writing anything rn bc im busy
>   * this is just gonna be 1k max
>   * this is just gonna be 2k max
>   * this is just gonna be 3k max
> 
things that were not lies 
>   * i am going to shove fukunaga into this fic
> 

> 
> if you're curious/in case it wasn't obv, akaashi was definitely feeling jealousy mixed with "i should be happy for him, i _will_ be happy for him" and when he finds out it's all bc bokuto + kuroo = max stupidity, he is Salty over that
> 
> ....pls ignore that i forgot onaga, lets just say that he was too pure to bring along to the (former) 3rd years' interrogation of bokuto & kuroo
> 
> if you want to see a tiny portion of my outline/notes (all featuring the lovely spelling/grammar of my notes, not my fic writing) which were prettyyy short cause this was just a whimsical one-shot, you can view the relevant post over on my [tumblr](https://serpentineshadows.tumblr.com/post/625938262687694848/a-taste-of-my-writing-process-pt-2)
> 
> edit: fixed the ending a lil cause i cannot stop tweaking things even after i post.....


End file.
